literature

Gravity and You

Deviation Actions

pretty-yin's avatar
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Literature Text

You saunter (no other
word would describe
the lilt of your gait quite
so eloquently) toward
me, smiling. You tilt
your head in question:

"What are you doing?" The question
remains unanswered. You ask another:
"Why are you upside down?" I tilt
my head toward you. "Describe
'upside down.'" You lean toward
me: "you." I beam "Not quite!"

"Not-" (I interrupt) "Quite!
Not at all, in fact. Your question
is invalid." You seem to lean toward
cuffing me, but you repeat the other
question, your first. So I describe
why I am laying, on a dock with a tilt,

my head limp over the edge: "The tilt
and the view flipped around cannot quite
be defined. Don't make me describe!
Lay, back down, belly up, on the dock and question
yourself: is there a better view of the other
side?" You lay down, roll toward

me. I lean toward
you. You push me down the tilt
of the dock toward the other
edge. I roll quite
close to the river, shout: "Question!"
"Yes?" "Can you describe

it? Can you describe
the other bank?" I reach toward you.
You halt my fall, question
my motives, pull me close, and tilt
your body into mine- not quite
close, yet. I lean toward that other

side (the river, the edge), describe and question
other chances toward my redemption,
before, quite certain, I tilt back toward you.
This was a romp to write. I had so much fun!

To be clear:

"Cuffing" means here "to hit", not to handcuff.

This isn't about suicide unless you want it to be, then it is. (By this I mean: that wasn't in mind when I wrote it. I can understand why it would be interpreted in that manner. And who am I to stop you?)

And yes, I did cheat a little on the second line, second stanza. I allowed myself to do it by convincing myself that "another" is really just a conjunction of "an" and "other" so it's really the same word, right? Right?

A llama badge to whoever wins the titling contest.

EDIT- April 8th, 2012
Wow! Thank you all for your support! And of course, special thanks over to the people at DLD.

All this attention made me scrutinize the poem and I realized about three quarters of the way through the thing I forgot one of my end words was "quite" and replaced it with a double "toward". I've fixed that now, and I believe at no sacrifice to the original spirit of the poem.

Thank you all again!
© 2010 - 2024 pretty-yin
Comments19
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FuzzyHoser's avatar
Golly, what a poem!
I hate that I missed this previously.
Yay for the DLDers bringin' it out to shine,
and yay for you for catchin' their attention. :heart: